How to be a Rock Star Wedding Attendant

Congratulations! You’ve accepted the invitation to participate in someone’s wedding. But what’s next? Believe it or not, it’s not just about showing up on the day of the wedding. Follow these tips and you’ll be on your way to becoming a rock star attendant:

Establish a budget

Budgeting isn’t just for the bride and groom. Participating in someone’s wedding comes with a certain amount of financial investment. Discuss the expectations with the couple in the beginning, and be prepared to cover costs such as wedding attire, accessories, hotel accommodations, travel expenses, and more. And don’t forget to budget for gifts as well as pre-wedding celebrations such as showers and bachelor/bachelorette parties. Lastly, be prepared for the unexpected expenses that are sure to sneak up on you. Establishing a budget early on will not only ensure a less stressful experience for you, but more importantly, for the happy couple!


I can tell you that any couple planning a wedding will spend a good portion of their time simply chasing people down. Getting people to respond can be one of the most challenging aspects of planning any event, and in the case of a wedding it causes an enormous amount of stress for the couple. So when you receive that wedding invitation in the mail, respond. Even if it seems silly. Return it. It takes little to no effort to do so. Respond to all shower and pre-wedding party invitations. Respond to all those emails and text messages sent by the bride. Respond. Respond. Respond. Every time you do, you help to create a much more enjoyable experience for the couple.

Offer to help

And mean it! Don’t just assume that if you’re not an honor attendant that all you have to do is sit back and wait for the big celebration. Be pro-active and reach out to the couple to see what you can do to help. Not just once. Do it often. Makes sure they know you’re there to help in any way you can.

Be on time

Better yet, be early! Not only does your tardiness create unnecessary stress for the couple, but it’s inconsiderate to anyone else who might be participating. The rehearsal is scheduled for 5:00 pm? Arrive at 4:45 pm. You’re scheduled to be ready for photos at 11:00 am? Be dressed and ready to go by 10:30 am. In this age of electronic devices, there’s really very little excuse for being late.

Remember whose day it is

There’s no question that this is THE most important piece of advice. If you forget all others, remember this one! Understand that the day is not about you. It’s not intended to reflect your vision, your personality, or your tastes. You may think that it’s ridiculous to be there two hours before photos begin, you might absolutely despise the gown selected for you, you many not be thrilled about who you’ll be walking down the aisle with, you might hate wearing a tie, or you may think camo doesn’t belong anywhere near a wedding celebration. My advice? Suck it up. Get through it. Not crazy about the menu selections? Keep it to yourself. And remember that it’s not okay to over-indulge in libations, to create a scene, or to misbehave in any way. Mind your manners, be a gracious guest, and never, ever forget whose day it is. Keepany negative thoughts to yourself, be supportive, and try to find the silver lining. Remember that it’s their day to take center stage!

Share on Pinterest
Share with your friends


Angela Welch

Angela Welch

With over 20 years of customer service, leadership, and project management experience, Angela has enjoyed – and continues to enjoy – success in planning and implementing both corporate events as well as personal celebrations. She is passionate about creating wonderful experiences for her customers and co-workers.

More Posts by Angela